Music Monday's: BDSM can be FUN!

While it’s very likely that JT threw in these obviously SM lines to gain attention for the song: 

“Dirty babe, you see these shackles, baby, I'm your slave. 

I'll let you whip me when I misbehave. 

It's just that no one makes me feel this way.”

However, I still love the song, it’s so fun! BDSM IS about enjoyment, right? And who doesn’t want a sexy submissive, after all? ;) 

I shall tell you where I came from

I thought I would share this as it’s often the first question one is asked by anyone in the BDSM scene and I want to answer it here so I don’t find myself repeating it over and over and over….

I was sixteen when I first started exploring the idea of BDSM. I did a whole lot of reading and had joined a personal site so I could access their forums. Occasionally talking to people here and there who messaged me, but making very clear in my profile on there and in messages that I wasn’t interested in playing with anyone. 

After some time, I met a handful of people who would later become my first BDSM friends and companions to events when I came of age. I also had one meeting which had me thinking we were meeting to make friends who had similar interest and him thinking he was picking up a minor (ew, yuck!) needless to say, he was not successful and I have never heard of him since. 

When I was eighteen I entered the local BDSM scene for the first time. I went to a handful of events, but at the time wasn’t very interested in public play and found I didn’t learn and absorb much in the way of a BDSM education so stopped going, eventually turning to workshops where I could learn more skills. 

I think it’s important to be a skilful player and to not just take a whip or needles to someone. Not just for the sake of your own reputation, but also because you should want to hurt a submissive (if that’s what you both desire) not harm them. 

When I was in my early twenties, I moved into a house with a friend who was very keen on BDSM and we would have play parties and dommina’s dinner parties. I loved that time and would love to get back to hosting parties where my guests other dominant women could be waited on by male submissives who would then be our play things for the night. 

I moved out of that house and after a time I started travelling in my early twenties and lost interest in the BDSM lifestyle as I wasn’t finding my match within the scene and preferred romantic relationships with men I met while travelling the world. 

Now I’m back to my roots in BDSM and want to explore as ever, in my own way. I am still young, with all the time in the world to explore. The real fun starts now!

Why I would become a private coach submissive males if I had the time (and was getting paid for it)

I see a lot of submissive males who are very sweet guys, but who are just not getting anywhere. I also see the occasional submissive female in this predicament, but as I’m mostly approached by submissive males this post is written with them in mind. Ladies, just imagine it’s you if you feel you can relate. 

I can see there are so many problems with the way they approach me, the way they write their profile, the way they think this works that I think, god, I’d love to help you… you seem very nice, but there’s so many like you that need help. 

This afternoon I was approached by one such guy. A lovely submissive about my age who approached me saying all the right things, then at the end saying “Mistress, I would be happy to tribute you for a session.” Now see, if I want tribute I will tell you, or it will be written on my profile (most likely). 

I do really love financial domination, but I enjoy more the, I take so much money from the boy on a regular basis that it hurts him financially or that I control his finances in one way or another, not the simple, “I’ll throw you fifty bucks here and there if you allow me to rub your feet.” In situations like this, it’s not fetish fun, it’s just money and footrubs. Boring! 

I wanted to message this guy back and tell him what was wrong with what he was writing then I thought, wait, is he really seeking what I’m seeking… perhaps he is just looking for a professional domme and no-one’s pointing him in the direction of one of Melbourne’s premium dungeons where he can go, select a professional mistress and play, for a fee. Which seems to be what he wants. 

I wrote him back, asking why he was using a BDSM personals site when perhaps he should be looking into a session with a professional. I quickly discovered that this was what he’d gleaned from briefly reading a few profiles here and there. I explained to him my personal perspective on financial domination, professional domination and lifestyle domination and that if he was seeking a dominant girlfriend, as he was implying would happen in his ideal scenario after a few footrubs, dates and getting to know each other maybe he should drop the part about tribute from his messages. 

He wrote to me a while later, obviously considering what I’d said asking if I could “Mentor” him. I smiled to myself. I don’t mind the idea of eMentoring a few boys here and there, but really, what would I be getting out of it? It’s a service if it’s “can you help me find a Domme” and I work two jobs currently and barely see my friends and personal submissives. Being so time poor and knowing full well that if I put myself out there to assist these men to find dominant ladies, they would be able to find a domme, she a sub, but what about me? Perhaps this is a skill I could market. Maybe I will write the boy back and offer to assist him – I’d make good use of his fee after all.