After talking about which ways you should not be
approaching domme’s online. I’ve got some suggestions for you on how to perhaps
have domme’s approaching you (wouldn’t that be nice?). Some might seem
common sense, but keep reading. You might find a gem you hadn’t thought of if
you have not been very successful in the online BDSM community so far.
Work out what it is you’re looking for
I’m openly polyamerous and I’m not hugely attached to
outcomes – if I go have coffee with someone and we don’t click, I don’t get
upset that that person will not be my slave. I just smile and keep going, so
I’ve cast a pretty wide net, stating in my profile that I am open to whatever I
attract (ie, new friends, play partners, a sub or even a slave to own) but you
might know better than me what you’re seeking, are you looking for a play
partner for a few sessions? Will they be public or private? Are you looking for
a long-term relationship? Someone to hold the key to your chastity device? A
new friend or a new community of kinksters who you can learn from, but you’re
just a bit shy right now to attend events? Whatever it is, write it down.
Give others’ something to reply to
When I travel I often talk to strangers in drinking holes
across the world, if someone is wearing an interesting tee shirt and has open
body language, I’ll approach them for a chat. If they seem hostile or
unfriendly, bugger the tee shirt, I’m going to avoid them like the plague. If you
want others to contact you, or even reply to your messages, write a little bit
about you in a vanilla context, talk about your hobbies, use a bit of humour to
add some color and be positive, you don’t want people to avoid your profile
after you’ve gone to all that trouble of taking fetish-ish pictures because you
seem hostile.
Talk about what you want to do for the mistress
The reason why professional domme’s get so much work from
disgruntled attempted lifestylers is because the rest of us read the profiles
of ‘do me’ submissives, turn up our noses and walk away.
The messages I’m most likely to respond to are from guys who
tell me the things they can do for me that are mundane because I know that
the mundane are things they are not going to get off on, so it really is about
me. If you message a domme telling her you will give her free foot massages,
she’ll know straight away that it’s about you (you dirty foot boy!)
Don’t invent experience
Nothing worse than a twenty five year old “master” with four
or five middle-aged online submissive’s in his “leather family” telling
everyone he’s been a master since fifteen. Com’on! (Yes, I know I was active
online not much older than him, but I was only i*learning* online, not playing
with anyone).
For the love of god – no child kink!
Whenever I read stories – the graphic ones are the worst –
about games people play as children being tied to kink it really grosses me
out, age play is fine. Telling people you like to be erotically tied because it
always makes you think of Sally who lived next door to you when you were five
is just weird.
Don’t take a S/slashy speak
Taking a slash in Australia is (normally) men’s urination. I
hate the term as much as I hate slashy speak (ie. W/we are A/all over Y/your
English butchery) I understand that perhaps some online-only mistresses may require
their submissives to use this speech, but for the reast of us it’s irritating.
Please only keep it to private conversations with people who’ve got the same
language butcher fetish.
If you take these pieces of advice to heart and change up
your profile a bit, you should have plenty of approaches in no time!
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